Sock Loss Index

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Psychologist Simon Moore of behaviour change consultancy, Innovationbubble and statistician Geoff Ellis at Evolution, took various factors into account when developing their formula. These included the volume of laundry, number of people in a household and number of socks in a load.

They found there are many practical reasons for sock loss rather than supernatural disappearances or far-fetched explanations such as them being sucked into black holes, as proposed by famed physicist, Stephen Hawking as a joke.

The duo surveyed 2,000 people who were happy to air views about their dirty laundry to find out about their habits. 

…The formula, dubbed the 'Sock Loss Index,' is: (L(p x f) + C(t x s)) - (P x A).
In the formula, 'L' stands for 'laundry size' which is calculated by multiplying the number of people in the household (p) with the frequency of washes in a week (f).
'C' stands for the 'washing complexity.'
This includes how many types of wash (t) households do in a week (darks and whites) multiplied by the number of socks washed in a week (s).
'P', or 'positivity towards doing the laundry' is subtracted from the sum of 'L' and 'C'.

…The work was commissioned by Samsung to mark the launch of its new AddWash machine, which lets users put individual items into the drum mid-way through a wash through a special opening.

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Dumb cunts. Surely there must be some better way for a statistician or a psychologist to employ his/her time. If there isn’t, then they might as well kill themselves. Clearly they are leading a pointless purposeless existence.

And I really don’t see how the capability of add items mid-cycle can be ‘cited as a possible solution’ to this ‘problem’!

Now I want to kill myself for actually giving a thought about this idiotic ‘mystery’ and the rubbish ‘possible solution’! Aarrghh